Goodbye, Malaysia.

It's 3 a.m. now, sharp, and chances are I won't have time to post before I leave tomorrow.

For those who have been asking again and again, I'm leaving at 2:30 to Singapore but I'll be entering the waiting area by myself at 1:30.

That's the worse part about all of this, you know. Being given the gigantic responsibility of holding on to an explicitly large amount of money to be used for the next few months in some foreign country. I'm scared, like seriously freaked out right now. I can't believe in a few days I'll finally be in the US after so much planning. (Kudos to my parents who did the most part, I just sat for the exams and picked what I'm going to bring over there.)

I don't want anyone to show up to see me off tomorrow. Mainly because, Natalee isn't going, and that kills me. I mean, If my bestest friend in the world can't make it, why bother? I'd rather it just be me and my family.

I had my last Mc. Donald's Ice Cream with Nat today. It sorta became a ritual of ours to always pick up a chocotopped ice cream on the way to OU or whilst I'm giving her a lift home. It isn't a really old tradition, but a tradition it was. I can't seem to get the idea out of my head, how much I'm going to miss her. She's been the one that has given me a shoulder to cry on, a person to lean on when I'm not at my best, and now, It's time to say goodbye. What's even sadder is the fact that we probably won't even be able to contact one another whilst we are in our own Schools, mainly because of time difference and connectability. I can't say how important you are Nat, but you are, and I hope you know that. I hope tomorrow morning when you come over we get to really say goodbye. I'd hate to not see a smile on your face as I leave Malaysia.

Genna and Nat

Genna. You are by far, the weirdest, most-aggravating person on earth. With your puns and your derogative comments just leave me wanting to kill you everytime. But I love you, so much. It's sad that I won't see you for awhile. Laughing about 18SX content seems to be one of my favourite pastimes with you. I'll never forget the sleepover, thanks for being such a good host.

I just want all of you to know that. No matter what happens, you two are my top priority, then comes the worst crush every and then Wan Ru. Sorry Wan Ru, I dare say that we've grown apart. Although I love you tons, but still, we haven't been that close in a really long while. Though, you're still in my top list of people I'll try my best to keep in contact with.

I somehow feel detached now. Like theres a plug on my heart that has been just plucked out. It's really nausiating. It's like I want to cry, but can't. I want to die, but can't. I can't do anything! I'm just so human. Unlike some people who just break promise after promise.


Nat's apparently not coming for my farewell because of her mother that wants her to head to Genting Highlands. But I swear If she's lying to me, and made me tear for no reason whatsoever, I'll choke her to death at KLIA. =( I love you Nat!

Chinese New Year Lanterns.


Looks like I won't be getting any Ang Paus during chinese New Year. Sad thing, that.
Though I've recieved alot of money from relatives and friends. I thank you, for all the generous wishing of luck and early ang paus, it's very much appreciated. Especially my cousins that have made me feel so happy that I have people like that who care so much. I love you guys.


Especially my Cousin In Law :)


Credits to EePing.

I'm leaving you all behind, and I hope you all will remember me, as I'll remember all of you. Well, most.

A day may pass; Two; Three,
But Understand what I wish for thee,
I pray for happiness, Joy and goodwill,
To all my friends, you know the drill.
May our paths and sinews once again intertwine,
and we can once again toast to the good times.



Ian

When it settles in.

When it settles in, thats when the pain sears; Thats when you realize, you've already wandered off too far, and now you're deep in the middle of the sea; Whe it settles in, thats when you realize you've been wounded, been cut; Thats when you realize that your leg has almost fallen off.

It has settled in for me. This feeling of anxiety, it has settled in so bad.


I know It's a common feeling for those that are studying abroad next year. But for some reason, the feeling has been amplified even more because I'm going alone. Yes, Alone everyone more or less has someone going with them - Wui Yang has trixie, Adelyne has mummy. Even if they don't have anyone thats going with them, I bet you that they don't have 3 bloody transit flights in 2 days.

for those who do not know yet, I'm transiting from Malaysia to Singapore; from Singapore to Narita, Japan; from Japan to LA. I mean, imagine If i get lost. That's it, game over, I don't want it to be game over! A lost Ian in Japan isn't exactly the most fortunate thing that can happen. Though, the sushi would be good.

I don't know if anyone else is feeling this. But can you imagine waking up in the morning, and realizing it's your last day in Malaysia. Your room, with your collective memoirs that are piled up on a side. You then head to the breakfast table, and you can just see that smirk on your parents faces, as if they were unwilling to let you go. You start eating breakfast, and your mother comes up to you and pats you on the back and tells you, "Take care of yourself now, I won't be there anymore." Fine, to many it may sound like nothing, but to be in the midst of that, or atleast a few days away from that feels just.... Horrid.

Nat threw me a surprise farewell for me today, I'm extremely touched by everything, by the people who actually took the time out to come and say goodbye - though there weren't really many people who came, I'm happy that I got to see some familiar faces for the last time. Probably for forever.

Many of us have a very high chance of actually not crossing paths anymore, not in this lifetime.

Thanks, Nat.


I really can't believe it's time, for me to fly solo. Leave the nest and fend for myself. I'm thankful, to everyone really, that has played even a minute role in my life. Be it enemies, friends, family. Without all of you, I would be incomplete. I love you all.

Flight.


To those who i've hurt in the past. I'm sorry, and I pray that you can forgive me, for all that I've done, because it's probably the end of the road now, and I'll never see you again. I'll be returning in 1 and a half years. The chances that I'll ever come back the same time as people that have went off to other countries are extremely slim.



I have nothing more to say. But, I just hope the best for everyone in their everyway. May you all find love and happiness.





Love,
Ian.