When it settles in.

When it settles in, thats when the pain sears; Thats when you realize, you've already wandered off too far, and now you're deep in the middle of the sea; Whe it settles in, thats when you realize you've been wounded, been cut; Thats when you realize that your leg has almost fallen off.

It has settled in for me. This feeling of anxiety, it has settled in so bad.


I know It's a common feeling for those that are studying abroad next year. But for some reason, the feeling has been amplified even more because I'm going alone. Yes, Alone everyone more or less has someone going with them - Wui Yang has trixie, Adelyne has mummy. Even if they don't have anyone thats going with them, I bet you that they don't have 3 bloody transit flights in 2 days.

for those who do not know yet, I'm transiting from Malaysia to Singapore; from Singapore to Narita, Japan; from Japan to LA. I mean, imagine If i get lost. That's it, game over, I don't want it to be game over! A lost Ian in Japan isn't exactly the most fortunate thing that can happen. Though, the sushi would be good.

I don't know if anyone else is feeling this. But can you imagine waking up in the morning, and realizing it's your last day in Malaysia. Your room, with your collective memoirs that are piled up on a side. You then head to the breakfast table, and you can just see that smirk on your parents faces, as if they were unwilling to let you go. You start eating breakfast, and your mother comes up to you and pats you on the back and tells you, "Take care of yourself now, I won't be there anymore." Fine, to many it may sound like nothing, but to be in the midst of that, or atleast a few days away from that feels just.... Horrid.

Nat threw me a surprise farewell for me today, I'm extremely touched by everything, by the people who actually took the time out to come and say goodbye - though there weren't really many people who came, I'm happy that I got to see some familiar faces for the last time. Probably for forever.

Many of us have a very high chance of actually not crossing paths anymore, not in this lifetime.

Thanks, Nat.


I really can't believe it's time, for me to fly solo. Leave the nest and fend for myself. I'm thankful, to everyone really, that has played even a minute role in my life. Be it enemies, friends, family. Without all of you, I would be incomplete. I love you all.

Flight.


To those who i've hurt in the past. I'm sorry, and I pray that you can forgive me, for all that I've done, because it's probably the end of the road now, and I'll never see you again. I'll be returning in 1 and a half years. The chances that I'll ever come back the same time as people that have went off to other countries are extremely slim.



I have nothing more to say. But, I just hope the best for everyone in their everyway. May you all find love and happiness.





Love,
Ian.