It's sad. the way we percieve so many people. At some point, when you believe that someone's so entirely perfect, and then you get to know them. That's when it all falls apart. Everything doesn't make sense, and you're all alone. It's so weird that some people turn out to be total ignoramuses whe you get to know them better.
Blue eyes lie.
I have concured one thing from today, though. It's that I'm an extremely hard person to deal with. With my offbeat thinking and dire sense of paranoia. I tend to annoy the hell out of anyone I like. The motivation I get whenever I grow fond of a person drives me to do some things that make you get a bad perception of me.
I feel like such a fool. I've lost so many friends in the past because of my thick headedness and my bad habit of getting ahead of myself. I just feel so helpless. How can I change myself for the better? Is it even remotely possible? I know that you are what you think you are, but if it's near impossible to change that mindset at any point in time?
Where am I heading? I have no idea, not one bit. Can I change myself at some point? I don't, but I sure hope I can.
I guess it may be a good thing. Those who have learned or are in the process of learning to tolerate me, will realize that I am someone worth keeping, well, hopefully.
I love you, friends.
Ian.
3 comments:
this should be in your emo blog no? hahahah. just be mindful about what you do sometimes, yea it is sort of true that even i had to like get to know you a bit longer than a normal person to see what a great person you are. =) a compliment wei. cheer up ok ian. i'll talk to you on skype soon.
you retad =( I mish you
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