Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Procrastination Nation

It's about 5:30 a.m. now, and it has been a very unproductive past few hours. I can't seem to get my heart off many things that are going on in my life now. I think there are some things that I have to list down that are vital to you, the reader to getting to know me a little better.

1. I sing a lot.

Say what you want. But I've been struggling as a child to make it somewhere with my singing. In primary school, during Music period, my teacher would always tell me to shut up over and over again, just because I tried to sing louder and harder than everyone else in the group. I truly sucked back then, I'd have to admit.

Then I moved on to highschool. Where people like @trixieyap (haha, wish that worked here.) made fun of me over and over again. They judged me and compared me to people like @nikirfan and @nikenaishah, whom, I have to admit, at that time were only slightly better than me. Even if they were, it was because we fell into different categories.

I can hear @trixieyap say it now "excuses, excuses Ian."

But nonetheless, I guess what I have lost in encouragement back then, I gained in strength now. I would have always be undermined by people like Ms. Foo who not only didn't encourage me, but brought me down to the pits of my singing career. Mr. Zach, however, gave me privilleges that he took away soon after, at the arrival of "better" singers.

It doesn't matter though, that's all past and gone. I'm just looking towards the future now, singing as much as possible in the few practice room in my dorm. Singing from my soul, hoping one day I'll get somewhere with this voice of mine.

2. I'm gay.

You heard me. i know that most of you out there know already. But I really don't care. My parents are probably going to judge me hardly on this. Their going to tell me to remove this from my blog. But I really want to just say it out, and say it proud. I'm gayer than the day is long.

If you're going to ask me how I found out? That's probably a very personal question and I should tell you, i'll only tell you if you e-mail me at tanvernian@gmail.com HAHAHA. Or I'll think you're a creeper and I won't reply.

To those of you who actually give a damn, like my cousins or relatives. I'm sorry i didn't tell you guys earlier. it's just that I used to find it a taboo thing. It's gone now though, either you accept me or get lost. :]

But you need to know something, dear reader. I am not gay because i was born this way. It was a choice I have made from several events that have happened in my life. I decided that having sex with men is way better than with a woman. Besides, it makes it more special, because it's hard to find another gay guy. We're like 10% of most communities, and to find one that you're suited to? Not that easy because, I am, indeed, a very hard person to deal with.

On that note.

3. I like being special.

I like the attention. I'm going to admit it and never retract it. I love it when i'm the one that sticks out like a sore thumb I like it when I'm just the one singular extinct species among many. It just makes me all the more unique. That's kind of why I take pride in being one of the only gay-malaysian-soul-pop-folk-acoustic-can-speak-fluent-english singers out in America today. Well, of course, I've yet to be noticed by anyone.


4. I'm arrogant as hell.

I think I'm smarter than everyone. Though this may not be the case in all scenarios. I feel that I have enough cognitive power to outrank most people. Seeing as how I've gone through so many weird scenarios in life, I've been put into positions where I have to learn to adapt (not saying that you haven't done the same thing.) that has given me some pretty formidable interprative intelligence. I look at the world differently, I don't like things that don't make sense.

I think that knowledge is a waste of time. Sure, it's there to help us advance. But you can be a rocket scientist and still not be able to interpret a situation considerably well, or atleast make sense in doing so.

I may be an arrogant fool at most times. But everything i say (when I'm serious) I've thought through enough to help my arguments retain water. But of course, this post in itself is an arrogant statement.

But whatever. It's your choice on whether or not you want to judge me as a extremely liberal person.

Oh.


5. I'm very very liberal

Seriously. I'll very charitable when it comes to most things. I'll consider your point of view. Make a good argument, and I'll consider. But if you don't, I'll still think about it. I can talk about most anything. Just simply because I don't think anything is off limits.


Seriously try me.



I should really be studying.


Dear reader, I hope you know me a little better now.



Till next time



Ian.

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