Halloween Series

A Result of Boredom

<3



Ian.

I can never find anything to talk about.

I learned about Kandinski in class a few days ago, Wednesday, to be specific. He was the man who found a way to take away all of the essence of art; or atleast, what was believed to be essence years ago, and he modified in. He, is the very man who created abstract art, or rather, it was his wife who turned a painting of his to the side while he took a long stroll one day. He came back, astonished by what his wife has done. The painting was a simple one, a yellow canvas with a few distinct lines portraying nature - it was ever so cliche. But to his surprise, the painting that was put turned 90 degrees, bared a whole different interpretation. It was then the idea came to him. He painted first piece of abstract painting, that then spawned a whole new generation of art. Art that didn't have to mean anything, art that didn't need to.

I want to do that. I want to be able to transfer my soul into a piece of art. Be it a piece of music, a few lines of a poem, or a painting. I want to plaster myself on a canvas, I want to invoke feelings upon viewers. Feelings so strong that would make them nudge, flinch, or smile. But I can't. I've been cursed to be in a world where art bares no meaning anymore. Where people can look at a painting and not feel a thing. I almost cried when I looked at composition 7. I know It seems a little dramatic. But what can I say? It made my heart bleed.


Call me too emotional, but I think this world lacks emotion.


Composition 7




Ian.

You and I

:D

Loves.


Ian.

I am not who you think I am.

There are not many things that upset me in life; sometimes I may act frustrated or the exact opposite of appealing when confronted with something - but do I really detest the thing I'm confronted with inside. Not most of the time.

The way I act, fun, happy, insane. Isn't the picture of which I want you or anyone to see me as. Sure, it's fun for me to be happy, insane, or whatever you call it. But I'll stand by the fact, that that's not me. It's merely the outer shell. I don't like it when people fucking judge me for who I am without getting to know the deeper me. You don't understand the magnitude of wisdom, or knowledge i poses; nor do you realize the amount of passion I inject into everything I do. When I sing, I don't sing with merely the mouth, or my diaphragm, or my vocal chords. I use my soul, my heart, my emotions, I pour everything into what I do, and if you can't bloody see that, then, that's your loss.

Oh,

And I'm quitting facebook.




Ian.

Recording myself

Time to start a channel.



Hallelujah



Falling Slowly


Love,

Ian

It's a wonder where time stops and nothing matters.

I'm here now, finally in America and all settled down. Though, I totally hate the fact tomorrow's the start of school again. I used to like school; it's like the thrill of it has totally fluttered away.

Something's wrong with me again; It's like that lingering feeling on emptiness is looming about once more. It's not because I don't have someone to love; nor is it because I don't like my current lifestyle - I was talking to Undarmaa like an hour ago, and for some reason it just hit me, my life means nothing.

I mean, what are you going to get out of school? Work? FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? It's so bullshit how life is set up like that. I was initially looking forward to working; but now, I don't really think so. Those suicidal feelings are crawling back ever so slowly - I won't do it of course, I never will, plainly because I'm such a pussy.

I just wish there were more meaning to life. Like something to cling on to to make me feel real for once. I don't want anymore drama or heartache. I just want to feel like I'm worth something; It's really too bad I don't have the image to be a very famous singer.

Genna, Nat, I miss you guys so much. Like, unreasonably much. I wish we could revert back to high school days when everything was so simple; monotonous, but simple. Not saying I totally can't cope with life right now; I just think there should be a better way to live life.


I need closure damnit.




Ian.

It's time.

This blog has become nothing but a past time; It shouldn't be, it really shouldn't. I'm going to start passively being proactive on updating this blog after I get back to America. For some reason I do things better when I get into the beat of things.

It's amazing how summer flew by so fast. I would say I've seen alot of friends this summer, but that would be lying. Pretty much everyone I have seen, I saw a few times throughout the summer. (Except the particular bitch who didn't seem to grasp the concept of commitment.) I've been spending majority of my time with Genna Gan; just doing stupid things we do. Like driving around with the purpose of getting lost; awkward moments where the silence seems to be choking us, but yet, we enjoy it. Me and Genna share a pretty sadistic relationship if you ask me, pretty sadistic indeed.

Well It's almost time, 2 more days and counting before I pack my bag and re-enter that cycle I tend to create for myself. Slaving away, trying to achieve my goals.

I hate it - I can't express how much I'm ready to go out and work. I don't find a need to study anymore. Fine, If i were to go into a more professional line, sure, I would need to study more. But as for me, I see opportunities everywhere, you don't even need the credentials to do them.

It frustrates me that the Malaysian Mindset is so simple. It's as if they're purely daft human beings living on merely impulse and false beliefs. I know, most of you don't see it, but our society today is flooded with Chinese-based middle-aged business men that have half, or even quater of my caliber and drive. I'm so insanely sure that given the right information needed for the job (Not so extensively that you have to go to Uni.) I could easily gain the profit of the typical Fat-Chinese-Malaysian business man.

It pisses me off when people lack intelligence. The lack of capacity to think and rationalize; they do immature things unconsciously; their conduct is simply unbecoming - Yet, they label themselves as "Adults". The authority is merely in the class they have been put in, and in my eyes, to everyone else, It's simply discrimination.

No one takes what I have to say seriously, because I don't have the credentials to back me up. When I talk to my friends they simply give me a blank stare and nod in agreement. Genna Gan simply says something to fill in the void, trying to make it seem like she's following what I'm saying, or she gives a damn. But she doesn't, they don't.

It's a wonder how Malaysia has been staying afloat this long.

Ian

Complexity.

We are as simple as we think.

We are whatever we think, so says the famous philosopher Pythagoras, "Man is the measure of all things."

But yet we are complex beings; but we think we are not. Then, if what pythogoras says is true, then? Are we or are we not complex beings?

From our daily struggles, to the things that enter and exit our minds everyday. It has almost become painfully obvious, that our complexity definitely rises above that of a simple sphere, or a cube, or a triangle.

Then what be this argument but a spear that can pierce through anything and a shield that can withstand anything coming together?

Contradictions.


Urk.


8 more days.



Ian,

Don't you just hate it.

When you order something over the internet, wait like 2 weeks for it to finally arrive. The anticipation builds up so large, and in the end, you get dissappointed because of a few minor kinks of the otherwise flawless system.

Such as the F1-F9 keys being retarded.

Sigh.

Ian

Posts without pictures.

:(

I wish I had my new laptop - It's coming tomorrow, then I can start using photos again.

Anyway.

I enrolled for school today. The gravity of the situation just dawned on me once again - It's time to go to school. Don't you just hate it when you realize the holidays over; and most of the time, you feel like you haven't experienced anything at all. It's tragic really (that's how I feel right now.), it's like everytime i think of it i sense impending doom - as if I'll keep studying, studying, studying, and that's life.

To top all the anxiety off, I just enrolled for 6 +/- grading scale classes. "Why is that so bad" I hear you ask, those of you who don't study under the american system. Well, let me just tell you why.

On a A-D scale

90-93 = A = 4.0 GPA

On a A-D(+/-) scale

90-93 = A- = 3.7 GPA.

Life.

Sigh.

Ian.

I Am Fat.

I just got back from Bangkok. Like 2 hours ago, and something has really been bothering me.

I'm sure all of you who've seen me in the past few weeks have noticed - I've let myself go. Between the tom yam and pad thai in bangkok, i would say I've easily gained even more weight throughout in just 3 days. It's amazing how much I can gain in so little time.

It's contradictory really; and I'm sure i'm not the only one. I absolutely LOVE to eat, but yet, I hate to look fat. Why does god taunt us with such vices and knows that we will at some point fall for them, and then again punish us when we get hooked to said vices. But then again, I don't even believe in god; do you? (Really, do you.)

Ever since I can remember, I've thought of ways to lose weight - quite unsuccessful i may add. I'd wrap my hands around my waist, and squeeze really hard, in hopes that if i squeezed hard enough, the food that i just consumed would go right through me. (If you know what I mean.) I would do bridges in hopes that that would strech out my tummy, causing the concentrated fat lump to be spread out, making me look thinner. Not to mention the thousands of "NOW I GO ON DIET" revelations that happened throughout the years.

I know I'm weird.

Personally, I hate these rituals; it just makes me seem like I have OCD; maybe I do. But who knows? Maybe those little rituals did work; I mean, i wouldn't know what would've happened if i hadn't done 500 kicks a day in an attempt to lose weight; Maybe i would've gotten even fatter than i would've if i went throught with all of em' rituals. Think about the Placebo effect; maybe it was strong enough to have kept some weight off me, but was not strong enough to help me achieve my desired look.

Either way.

I'm not giving up on these rituals.

Urk. I'm Insane.

Ian

We're all liars

No. I'm not talking about straight out lies that you tell to your mother, or your friends. Not little white lies, or even large ones. I'm talking about lies we tell ourselves every single moment of every single day. Emotions that we convince ourselves that aren't there. It's like there is an epidemic of confabulation in our culture today.

But culture was born from community, and hence, we can conclude that confabulation is formed from community. The things we do, the things we restrain ourselves from; nothing can be true-er than nietzche's internalization of man. All of us, just struggling beneath us, holding in back feelings that we want to just let go of. But Alas, we cannot; because we're scared - of the community, or the ridicule.

Nietzche once said that we as man have poisoned after being thrust into community. Our wants, our needs, repressed, and bad conscience is formed - that thing in you head that tells you to avoid doing things because it's not socially accepted, or in freudian terms, your superego. Why guilt? Why repression? Why can't we just let it out and act upon it.

It's a snowball effect, can't you see - the way we feel that "guilt" is there (when it is not.) others feel the same. As it spreads like a virus, the tendency of us to feel guilt after a certain action increases, and "ethical culture" is formed.

But it's all a delusion. I agree, that maybe, there is a line to be drawn when given the situation - you know, the typical, killing, raping, etc. I do agree that etiquette exists for a reason. But for the social guilt that are just plain stupid, like the delusion of stereotypes, should just die. Things like fat people are ugly, things like forbidden love, things like fear that hold us down.

That should stop.

That should stop.

Ian.

Things I cannot stand about my friends

There are indeed just many things I cannot stand about my friends.

The way I get taunted from time to time because of the way I act.

The way they are unsupportive of what I do.

But by far, the thing I hate most about my friends, is the fact whenever I arrange something, hardly 50% show up. You know why? I'll tell you why. Because when ONE of them has some transportation problem, or simply just can't make it, or just doesn't FEEL like coming. The fucking stack of cards just falls. It's so effing annoying I tell you. "Oh I can't come" then after that, "Oh she's not coming? I don't wanna go either" then after that "Really ar? She's not going, I don't think I'm going too." Before you know it, you're left with half the people you invited and your faith in them is totally stirred because you no longer know what to believe in.

Yea, this is to fucking all of you.

People like Wong Fucking Gui Fen who's been blowing me off since I got back, fucking putting her friends before the guy that had been there for her for 5 fucking years. You heard me.

This was the last straw.

You are not my friend anymore.

Thanks for making it such a horrendous visit back to Malaysia.

May you contract some extreme form of a virus and just die.

- - - - - - - -

Let me add something. Pathetical idiots that attempt to turn it around and make it seem like i'm perverse can just go suck on one. I don't fucking act out unless someone gives me a reason to, and a fucking idiot like Wong Gui Fen has given me more than enough reason to act out.

once again.

Fucking annoyed,

Ian.

Camwhoring with Leon the Lion

When all else fails. Your lion never does.

In his flufffy arms

Intimacy or IN TO ME I SEE.

Peek a Boo

One of those "happy life" kinda picture :D

Swawk! Leon wants a cwacker

Making out :D

Reeanactment of the popular Robert Doisneau's picture. That used to hang up in Gaby's room.

I know, supah similar

What are you looking at?

Sometimes, I think I'm good enough for like, a movie poster thing D:

I could be LEOMAN

Don't you love dramatic this picture is?

It could be a GAP advertorial.

As a matter of fact..

Yea. That's how Bored i was.

:D

Ian.

A very late post.

Someone graduated.

I'm sure some of you may remember Undarmaa, the eccentric mongolian girl my groupleader-come-best friend. Last semester was the semester she finally graduated. After 4 years of being in the university of Kansas, she finally graduated from the school of economics and political sciences. Yay for her.


Undarmaa infront of the people who discovered Helium. (They went to KU, apparently.)


Because me and Madhu (Sri Lankan friend.) were such great friends; and since Undarmaa had no real family there. (She apparenly told her parents to only come for her masters graduation -__-")

- End of post made a month ago.-

I really wish I had the rest of these pictures in these desktop. It's such a bother that the only thing on this desktop is Google Chrome, msn and Dota. I can't seem to continue anything I was doing post-coming-back-home simply because it's like, everything's temporary now; I don't know, it's like that feeling you get, when you're in the middle of the sea snorkeling, and you realize, that there's no solid ground, only corals on the seabed. Forlorness I guess.

Just to make it clear to you, I do have more pictures I wanted to use, but sadly I didn't upload them before I saved this post a month ago. Sad.

I remember that day fairly well though, Undarmaa's graduation. It was already the end of school, and I was staying at a friend's place; though, the night before the graduation I spent at Undarmaa's apartment, seeing as how it'd be easier to go to the graduation the next day.

KU has many traditions, and it was a pleasure to find out that there was a tradition for graduation too, a rather interesting (and long) one at that. There's like a field in the middle of KU, a humungous one, like an actual park you can walk in, and not far off, there's a football stadium (an EXTREMELY large one.), at the top of the hill, stands the campamille (or however it's spelt.) It's like a tall building filled with bells and such, I think I have it on one of my previous posts as I was discovering KU. Anyway, the the graduates are expected to walk through their campamille as a symbol of graduation. (Because, there's a belief that if you go through the campamille before you graduate, you won't graduate from KU.)

They through the campamille and down the extremely EXTREMELY long road towards the stadium for the ceremony. Parents and friends stand at the sides of the pathway and take pictures as they see their graduate walk down the path. Turns out, there were 2 pathways that the graduates were categorized under, college of liberal arts and the professional schools. Undarmaa, was in the school of liberal arts. Me, being such a fool, sat under the hot sun for 2 hours waiting to take her picture on the side of the OTHER pathway. I finally gave up, and only after the ceremony, did Undarmaa tell i was watching the wrong pathway. (Sigh.)

The whole thing finally ended after 5-6 long hours as we went for dinner at madhu's host parents' place; for dumplings!

Ian.

Time to post something.

I really hate posting without pictures. It brings so much more dullness to my blog. I mean, if I didn't update at all, this blog would be considered dead, atleast it wouldn't be dull, right?

You know what I realized? I realized that I have like 5 other incomplete posts that I have yet to post up on my blog, because of pure laziness. Yea, I should really get to that.

There's like only a month and a day left of summer, and I'm wasting it away by staying at home and getting fatter. I really let myself go these past few weeks. I hate fat. I don't want to be fat.

I think I have insomania, it's like, I've not been sleeping at all really. Sometimes, I make it all the way to 48 hours of no sleep. It's weird really, when you are given so much time, and truly nothing to do, you seem to have too much energy to even catch a wink of sleep. I mean it's that effect when you start using the computer - It's like you can never stop.

It's sad how all I do these days is just use my computer, sleep, dota, eat. The process repeats again and again. God. I feel impending doom. loom.

I SHALL MAKE A FULL POST TOMORROW.

I promise myself. (But then again, it's perverse the amount of times that I do not keep to my promises, oh well.)

Ian.

Oh Statistics.

I hate statistics. I'm still wondering why I even took the course. The homework is tedious and pointless; the teacher is a real douchebag and slavedriver. The worse part is that his wife is my CHEM TEACHER.

Hoorah for failure.

Ian.

I had a dream

I wish I were ignorant about life.

Such a weird thing to say huh?

I wish I could be like one of those retarded bimbos whos lives are revolved around the materialistic world; where worries, anxiety and stress are only caused by typical things like bills and typical conflicts; when things that actually matter - the state of the world, their future, hardly even faze them. I don't even know what i should categorize people like them under; are they smart for being ignorant? or are they unintelligent because maybe, just maybe, they realize it's less of a burden to not care about things; and I, as such a foolish person, do not realize this.

Have you ever felt that moment? When you felt alive? When the world just stopped spinning for awhile? and you realize you are there. You are living; you are breathing; you are something. Why can't life just be like that always?

Sigh.

I hate you so.

Ian.

The lack of posts

Time and time again, I would start to ignore my bloggy. For the plain reason for laziness. Well, this time I have an actual excuse! I'm using my brother's comp now as my main comp, and he has virtually no more space to add any pictures in; and blog - pictures = no blog at all. Ergo, I shall not blog because of that one reason. :D

Anyway. Just saying, I have a few posts that I'm just so reluctant to post because they are just so vile and angry, or just undone. I surprise myself sometimes. 

I like my new banner.

I'm really gaining alot of weight. I realized now what was the problem. I lost alot of weight in America not because I walked alot, or exercised alot; it was because i ate right. I kept away from carbohydrates and cheese as much as I could, and even if i do consume carbo, it's usually just in the form of bread, like bread from sandwich or bread for a burger; but otherwise, I would totally not have any rice or source of carbohydrates. 

I have come to a conclusion that the rice i'm taking in sumptuously lately is the cause of my bloatedness; and hence, I shall now stop consuming said product and see the outcome. This means switching to eating only meat and fibre, to simulate the diet I had in America; and hopefully, just hopefully, i can stop my body from getting into a train wreck and bloat up so much so I look like how I looked before i left for America. *queue dramatic music*.

I feel like posting, yet i don't :(

P.S. Statistics is the by far, by FAR, the most torturous, malevolent, unreasonable math class i have taken in my entire life. (Maybe it's because I missed the first week of class and my teacher is a total bitch (he's a he.) that uses the excuse, "YOU'RE FROM AMERICA, YOU SHOULD KNOW THE WAY AROUND"; and refers to me as "American" in class; and uses the excuse that I have a 3.8 GPA as to critique me on my current standing; to completely and utterly desecrate my tolerance.) 

God send help.

 

Ian

An extremely late post.

Someone graduated.

I'm sure some of you may remember Undarmaa, the eccentric mongolian girl my groupleader-come-best friend. Last semester was the semester she finally graduated. After 4 years of being in the university of Kansas, she finally graduated from the school of economics and political sciences. Yay for her.


Undarmaa infront of the people who discovered Helium. (They went to KU, apparently.)


Because me and Madhu (Sri Lankan friend.) were such great friends; and since Undarmaa had no real family there. (She apparenly told her parents to only come for her masters graduation -__-")

- End of post made a month ago.-

I really wish I had the rest of these pictures in these desktop. It's such a bother that the only thing on this desktop is Google Chrome, msn and Dota. I can't seem to continue anything I was doing post-coming-back-home simply because it's like, everything's temporary now; I don't know, it's like that feeling you get, when you're in the middle of the sea snorkeling, and you realize, that there's no solid ground, only corals on the seabed. Forlorness I guess.

Just to make it clear to you, I do have more pictures I wanted to use, but sadly I didn't upload them before I saved this post a month ago. Sad.

I remember that day fairly well though, Undarmaa's graduation. It was already the end of school, and I was staying at a friend's place; though, the night before the graduation I spent at Undarmaa's apartment, seeing as how it'd be easier to go to the graduation the next day.

KU has many traditions, and it was a pleasure to find out that there was a tradition for graduation too, a rather interesting (and long) one at that. There's like a field in the middle of KU, a humungous one, like an actual park you can walk in, and not far off, there's a football stadium (an EXTREMELY large one.), at the top of the hill, stands the campamille (or however it's spelt.) It's like a tall building filled with bells and such, I think I have it on one of my previous posts as I was discovering KU. Anyway, the the graduates are expected to walk through their campamille as a symbol of graduation. (Because, there's a belief that if you go through the campamille before you graduate, you won't graduate from KU.)

They through the campamille and down the extremely EXTREMELY long road towards the stadium for the ceremony. Parents and friends stand at the sides of the pathway and take pictures as they see their graduate walk down the path. Turns out, there were 2 pathways that the graduates were categorized under, college of liberal arts and the professional schools. Undarmaa, was in the school of liberal arts. Me, being such a fool, sat under the hot sun for 2 hours waiting to take her picture on the side of the OTHER pathway. I finally gave up, and only after the ceremony, did Undarmaa tell i was watching the wrong pathway. (Sigh.)

The whole thing finally ended after 5-6 long hours as we went for dinner at madhu's host parents' place; for dumplings!

Ian.

A many splendoured thing.

So after getting dicthed by my friends a day before, I headed down to Batu Pahat to pay respects to my dead grandfather. 

I sat there in a fluster, at the back of the car, wondering what would lie ahead for me in the future; what happens when college ends? will I ever find true love? why am I so frustrated? Life seemed extremely bleak to me - everyday, things of interest turning into a pathetical cycle of which I hate. The same routine day in and day out - get up, go to class, come home, sleep. I sat there and gazed through my tinted windows; I peered into the darkness and realized how my life was so similar to it. A black abyss with little bright spots here and there - little happy things that actually do happen in my life, and the rest, total and utter meaninglessness. But sometimes - few may ask this question; is the night sky filled with little spots of light? or is it merely a black sheet with holes enveloping the light? Retardedly irrelavant things like this come into my mind every single day.

I heard a joke today - it amused me

How do you make Lady Gaga cry?

You poke-her face.

:D

Ian.

You know?

So far it's been a fucking pissy coming-back to malaysia. Now I know why people don't like coming back to Malaysia - people are so much more selfish.

Damn all of you.

Ian.

Hectic. Hectic. AHH. (Updated)

I have soooo much to do before I leave, It's not even remotely funny.

The Grey have been done.

1. Review class for bio

2. Philosophy 140 final (AHHHH.)

3. Getting to Oliver to see Kristina and watch Zoolander (Blashphemy!)

4. Advising Session

5. Bio 100 exam (A@H#!H@#H!@)

6. Laundry

7. Packing.

8. Moving out.

9. Going to someone's graduation party.

10. Going to someone else's graduation party

11. Going to the overall graduation party.

12. PRINT OUT TICKETS

13. Pick up I-20

14. Malaysian Dinner

15. Random Clubbing

16. GO HOME.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Atleast this song soothes me, so insanely good.

Ian, STRESSED.

It hasn't dawned on me yet.

My Ah Gong (Grandpa) passed away last night. i got a call from my mum this morning about it. For some reason, I'm not feeling the remorse I really should right now.

I remember when my Popo (Grandma) died. I cried my eyes out when I heard the news, but yet I don't feel anything right now. It may be the distance, or the fact that I don't see him that often, or maybe I'm just inhuman.

But anyway. 

Rest in Peace Grandpa.

Ian.

Angel

Beautiful.

In the arms of an angel,

fly away, from here.

from this dark cold hotel room,

and the endlessness that you fear,

You were pulled from the wreckage,

of your silent reverie,

In the arms of an angel.

May you find, some comfort here.

Ian.

Oh where for art thou

Oh, just let me be a dying cow,

shriveling in the sun,

A ruminant not to be remembered, 

But only the number 2341.

Let the heat cook my meat,

as I feel the shooting intense pain,

oh let me feel the euphoria,

and those who remain my bane.

Oh, just let me die here,

in this field of green,

Let my blood flow into the earth.

Let it stain the soil,

Let it depress mother nature,

as I boil.

Ian

Tornado Warning

It has been a very very unproductive weekend which composed of lazing around and sleeping in for 3 consecutive days. It seems like life is getting duller as the end of the semester is drawing closer. Ties i once had with my friends also seem to slowly be deterring.

But on another hand, I did experience my first tornado warning this weekend. I vividly remember Ben and Gaby telling me how there would be atleast 1 or 2 tornado warnings per semester. But nothing ever happens. Basically, the winds around lawrence or somewhere close gets pretty strong and a siren is sounded. People from the dorms start heading down to the basement and everyone just crowds there for an hour or two, and typically the "tornado" goes away. Apparently the funnel of the "tornado" has come very close to the ground once or twice.

The sky outside during the tornado warning. You can't really see it though.

I checked my mail today, and once again, the parcel my parents send me 2 months ago has not arrived. However, I did receive something rather delightful.


A gift from Nat. A sushi keychain!

It's a wonder how good you feel when you receive something from someone so close to you that's so far away. It says alot about how much a person knows you. I really like it not only because I'm a big fan of sushi, but it's my favorite type off sushi - kappa maki! (Small rolls with a small piece of cucumber in the middle.) So simple yet so delightful, it's all i get when I went to sushi restaurants.

"May cause choking, keep away from small or in ian's case, big children."

Isn't it the sweetest thing ever. Thanks nat. For your new zeland sushi :D


I miss you

:D


Ian.

Test of time

It's like the when the eraser you've been using for 3 years is finally ending.

Brings up alot of anxiousness about life.




Sigh.

Ian.

When you can't study psych, you know something's wrong.

All I'm doing is sitting down here, and staring at my book. Random thoughts flow into my head continously distrubing my concentration. I guess there are just somethings so massive on my mind disturbing me in a very severe way.

Urk.

Life sucks.

Ian.

Damn you all.

Damn you all who got to see David Archuletta. I shall track all of you down and bite your heads off. Damn Sri Kdu.

Ian

New Shoes. New Life.

Rawr. I haven't been posting much lately.

I just love converse.

So I was tagging along with Gabby the other day whilst she searched for a pair of shoes that would match her dress, and then I came across the greatest pair of converses i have ever seen!

red converses; in all it's glory.

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I haven't really seen a pair of red converses on the road before. But they are so awesome! It's red, so it clashes with everything, but still it manages to give this whimsical feeling when you see someone with a pair! Can someone tell me if they do sell it in Malaysia? I was convinced to buy em' cause I would've gotten half price off since Gabby was getting a pair, "Second pair half price off."

Twas 35 dollars; usually 45. "Eh?! Isn't half of 45 22.5?" I hear you say, yes it is, but you only get half price off the cheaper one. Gabby's was 20.

But anyway, the best thing about this is, I no longer have to wait for my parents parcel which is taking years to reach here. I've been anxiously checking my mail every since they sent it to me. God forsaken Malaysian Mail system!

What's even better is that I do not have to fret over my sad sad pair of blue converses anymore.






Really worn out blue converses.

So many memories. I remember I still had them while cheering for KDU, I used them from time to time to cheer, which didn't turn out like such a great idea. Blisters! When I went out to OU, I'd always wear these pair cause they went with everything. I guess it's time to say goodbye. Finally.



Sometimes I really don't know where I am in life. Ngeh. Why do things turn out as they do.







I wish i were dead sometimes.



Ian.

Ian has officially broken thy holy 3 month streak!

eat that.

:D

Ian.